Dear diary,


It just occured to me that today's the 16th day since I last saw her face to face. That's 2 weeks and 2 days? Longer than 2 weeks man. I remember setting the maximum length of 2 weeks of not seeing her.

The last time it happened was at the airport. We didn't even had an embrace. I remember holding that hand, never wanting to let go but I had to. I remember the silliness of her inside the duty free zone. I remember the rude middle finger pointing before she enter, just for the joke of it.

I remember.


But I guess it all doesn't really matter to her now, diary. Because she's still angry, she's still mad at me. Can't blame her for that. Diary, If someday I get to see her, I'll be more than happy already. Really.



And so, today was yet another hard day to live by. Had to do something to keep me occupied, so that I will not tear again.

Decided to just go out and pamper myself. Nah, diary. I did not go for spa or anything like that.
Just the usual town and starbucks, getting the best food and drink, playing some arcarde games alone. For a moment, It got me occupied with the things.


But I realise something, diary. When the home journey begins, I cried again. I can't help it, diary. I just can't.


People do deserve a second chance. Even convicts have a second chance. I'm aiming for that second chance. Though I know it's not quite gonna happen now, I know it will happen someday.



With love, Diary.


Edited ;

I am online, diary, but I don't quite dare to appear online on msn. I saw her online, diary. I really saw her online. But, honestly if you ask me now diary, I have no courage or guts to face her online, let alone face to face. sigh.

I will get out of this soon and master the courage to do so. Give me some time, diary.