Dear diary,

They say that time will tell.


I think I got it.

But still, a part of me will always be there.

Dear diary,

Today was batman day.
Caught it with 10 people. Amazing.

5 stars man. OUTTA 5.

Joker's just brilliant.

Dear diary,

I chance upon videos earlier.

Video, in particular.
Video.

Dear diary,

I have weird friends.


edited ;

I guess I'm deceiving myself. Lord.

Dear diary,

it is declared.

Dear diary,

I guess I'm fine with not thinking bout it anymore.
But deep down, I know its not gonna be forgotten. Never.

It's in a special place down there. Amen.

Dear diary,

I might be getting something like that soon. A new look!

What say you?

So, had an essentric day in school today. Werid, yet
hyper yet a tinch of joy and wanting so much to bottle up that joy and never let
it go ever. On the other hand, it could also be seen as sad, yet helpless yet
hopeful and wanting so much to burn the phrase "opportunity doesn't knock
twice". I think the day started off with thought no.1, and ended with thought no
2. It made be glad, and overjoyed at times, to the state of an overdosage.. And,
it ended me good with blue emotions. So what am I now? -Mixed.

A hug would be nice.

We're like the keys on the piano left in the hands of a
kid

Glad that Gladness' there. Honestly, I could tell what that entry means, diary. I can so tell.
Guess I understood her.

I wish I could give her one.

It sucks to see it.

It really sucks.

):

Dear diary,

Today was servers' night.

Souls are being annoited. I'm one of em` too.

I really believe in it. Really Really.


Terence's birthday today. Amazing. His wishes all came true.

I wonder if mine ever will.

Standing there by the wake,
My heart sank for her.
The only child in her small family,
Dad passed away a while ago.
Mom left her 2 days ago.
What a blow.

But after seeing her being so strong, giving out the speech, a touching speech that made me tear,
I can boldy say that God's gonna use her, and He's gonna SO bless her and her life will never be the same again.

I know that My God is faithful.
Amen.


Dear diary,

Life is precious.
Moments are priceless.

Cherish.

Dear diary,

Before I begin, I really ponder if she ever reads these entries. Rah.


And for today Lord, Yet another friend's parent past away. That's 2 friend's parent now.
Whats with that, Lord? What's with that.

Surely you have something GOOD in store for those 2 precious friends of mine. You'll make them awesome man and woman of God, I know you will.

Somehow, I feel sad for them, Diary.

somehow.

Dear diary,

Today I learnt alot about love.
And How it is suppose to work for a perfect ending.

Thank God for pastors.

Thank God.

Dear diary,

Today was fellowship day. I like fellowshipping with brothers in christ.
Can share about almost anything and everything, without having the fear of embarassment of rejection.
Shared bout Her too, diary.


yes.

Dear diary,

Today I learn that there are different challenges along the way of life.
Each of them poised to be a stepping stone, with some being a little challenging.
When you thought that the worse is over, there's always gonna be another issue far worse than the worse you are talking about.
And from there, it repeats itself again.

Sometimes I really thank God for GOD amen. I mean, despite all my shortcomings and failures, He never once look to them. Yet, He judged me on the cross, being ALREADY paid for by His son. He now always look at me with love, and with the life of His Son in me.

For that death on the cross, we are made righteous forever.
Despite the fact that most of us sometimes do make mistakes in life, be it the smallest winy little thing or the biggest issue, we're still righteous.

But there's something bout man and its Ego.
We'll always want to have our 'face' with certain people, lifting up that pride level.
But I guess that doesnt really matter at all, when Jesus sees us righteous already.


I thank God for an amazing day of YOUR favour and mercy each new day. For His mercies are new every morning and His favour will shine forth each day. Amen.

There is actually alot of paths to walk from, I realised.
But that's always the problem too.

Choosing the RIGHT one to walk from could be hard.
Without anywhere or anyone to turn to for assistance.
Facing a whole load of obstacles along the way.
Sometimes, just sometimes, it could just break a person down.

In times like this, one would look back to the dearest ones in life.
The ones whom one love, and know that they love back as well.
100% they will be there till the end.

But I seem to lost mine.



On a side note, Family day was pretty exciting today.
New pairs of shoes.
Lonsdale.
Not bad.

Dear diary,

Just something thats in me.

I wonder if the birthday would be as planned.

I wonder.

Dear diary,

Mustafa was quite fun today. Bought the shades that were quite similar to hers back then.

Certainly brings back memories I must add. Oh well.

Never knew Mustafa could be that fun. Oh Did I mention that little india serve really good vegetarian food as well? Yeah! A nice simple restaurant by the corner.

And of cos, the great company of people.

Would you give up the world for me?
A question to ponder definitely.
The world seems fairytale,
Like the never ending passage.
A truth to hold to,
A moment to cherish forever.

But yet He chose to believe,
In you he chose to stick with.
Despite circumstances and challenges
Still the heart remains the same
Nothing beats the true feeling of it.
The one for me.

Dear diary,

Today I learn to see YOU, Jesus, as my everything.

When I'm in need of patience, You Jesus is my patience.
When I'm lacking of anything, You Jesus is my provision.

When I miss her Lord, You Lord shall occupy that thought.


Amen.

Dear diary,

Memories are there for a purpose I guess.
it's beautiful.

:)

Dear diary,


Today was jamming day. Honestly, it felt good to just play the guitar with my band again.

I was venting all my emotions on the song. :x


I thought I was in a really bad state... until this.

Friend's dad passed away on thurs night.

......

Dear diary,

Been visiting her friendster and blog pretty often now I must add.

Wonder why eh diary. :/


YSWA SERVICE. I wonder. Hmmm.

Dear diary,

Just got a straight in the face answer from her.


Ouch. Honestly, it hurts. Again.

Dear diary,

Just came back from cg! It's been a long while since I last attended one. Oh well.

And today's sermon was about.... Love and its season. Just the right time for me eh I suppose?


Rah.

Title: Let her fly
Written by: Larry Koh

I've been trying everything to get to you
but you simply refuse
I guess it did went too far this time
you will never be mine.

Since I cant have the whole of you
I'm gonna let you go.
To let you find a better me
someone who will give it all.

I am gonna let you fly
I know you have been trying to decide
But now that you have chosen to fly
though it hurts, still I'm gonna try.

Dear diary,


I think I really know what I want already. At long last.

Was serious right from the start anyway.


You think it's still possible, diary?


When should I start again? ;

Dear diary,

Today I lost my phone's memory card.

And somehow, it felt like I'm losing something that's very important to me. Had that uneasy feeling.


Then I realise its the same feeling as how I lost her, diary.

Hurts.

Dear diary,

It's been weeks since it happened now. Weeks. Normally, I mean, even if a person tends to forget stuff and... move on...? I mean, it wouldn't take more than that. When someone isn't serious about it in the first place, all it takes just a week or so before the person goes back to his or her original state.


Its been... weeks already diary.

And quite honestly, VERY honestly,

I miss you K.

Of how it used to be.

How it was suppose to be.


Had alot of opportunities to go out with some other people. Be it a 1 to 1 or a group kinda thing. I'm glad that at the end of the day, diary, I still chose not to go for such things, because the one in my heart still lives on.


ily.

Dear diary,



How issit so hard to even talk? I mean.... Afterall.... Okay nvm.





Diary. ):

Dear diary,

I spent my evening with my mum today. Just the two of us. Did some grocery shopping, as well as the usual ones. I enjoyed the time with her, diary. :)


And being in a good mood, Mum bought me a jacket and a new tee! Hah. Really never expect that.


imy.

Dear diary,

I chanced upon this song earlier. A song that I've known for ages now. But I always fail to find out the hidden story and the meaning of its lyrics behind it.

I decided to change a little bit here and there, to truly expresses everything I have within me.

Here's it.

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me princess, now when did?
You last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride.

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view.
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming.

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear.
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you.

Dear diary,

I watched hancock with the guys today.

And quite honestly, when I first sat down the cinema, the first thought that came to my mind was her.

I remember the days back then, diary.

Brings a smile to my face for that moment.


Oh well.

Dear diary,

I got 3rd for the tournament.

Received a medal for it.

And somehow diary, I picture myself standing next to her, with the medal

):

Dear diary,

Today I learn alot of things.

I learn that true love works through conflicts.


Why Lord, Why.
Why Diary, Why.

Dear diary,


Everytime I try to close my eyes and just let go, It keeps coming back.
Every time.

At the end of the day diary, I guess I really know what I really want this time. And it ain't backing out time.

But somehow diary, I'm so afriad that things will change again.

):

Dear diary,





What is home? What exactly defines it anyway?



Somehow diary, there isn't a forgiveness and letting go part.



I mean, Yes it was a blow. It WAS a bigger blow for me too you know, to lose everything in just 2 days.



But at least I am willing to change and learn.





But diary, how come there isnt a forgiving and letting go part for me? I thought criminals are given a second chance too?



]:

Dear diary,



Tomorrow's working day with my mum and her company at SMU. It's the usual yearly graduation gown thing again.



I remembered last year's one was a huge success. Mum was so proud of it.





Oh well diary, somehow or another, I sense that she doesnt really wanna talk to me anymore.



I mean, not that I can blame anyone or her but... Yeah. Certainly break my heart there even more. Argh.



Diary diary, Sigh.







People do make mistakes and fall along the journey of life. It's how you pick yourself up from there, that matters the most. Gotta stand up rooted and be stronger than before.



If only. ]:

Dear diary,


Gosh. It still hurts.

From the inside out.

]':

Dear diary,

Going to the bugis's branch of the NLB has been more like a routine to me already. No idea why.

I find myself going to that place alot more than normal. Books somehow just engaged to me in someway or another.


Oh well.

Diary diary, she's isnt replying anymore. And somehow, Things have changed. Maybe a lost of interest from the other side already? ):

Rah. Change it diary.

Dear diary,

I'm really tired. ):

I guess at the end of the day...


If its meant to be from You, Lord, It will happen.

Yes Jesus?


I shall not worry anymore.
Worrying does not help the situation at all, I realise.

Kellie is loved.

By her family.
By her friends.
By me.

If she knew.

Oh well.


I entrust her to You, Lord.

Amen.


p.s. I miss you, love.